2nd star to the right and straight on till morning

Lately, my body has been so used to waking up exactly 20 minutes before it needs to. That gives me 20 extra minutes to contemplate about the day I’ll be having ahead- the most excruciating 20 mins I live with every single morning. I usually start off by scanning my head for motivators just to …

Nobody talks about how ugly self-care really is //

Self-care is your bones too brittle to even pick up a comb and fix your hair. Self-care is your attempt to count sheep so you can fall asleep but unconsciously counting failures instead. Self-care is your anxiety orchestrating internal debates whether or not to answer loved ones’ phone calls. Self-care is your blood dripping on…

How does one stay whole when everything is falling apart?

“The world never stops for anyone.” When you’re too empty to function, the world doesn’t conveniently give you time to rest. You can never really complain about needing to deliver responsibilities even if your body is always an inch from blacking out. You can never really ask for time to familiarize new routines when change…

Life update; 10 May 2019

I’m laying on the waiting area floor of Vicente Sotto Hospital trying to get some sleep. I’m here for an overnight watch on my brother who just underwent an angioplasty operation earlier today. I don’t know if I should find comfort or anger in the familiarity of hospital hallways and vending machines by now. In…

If we were having coffee

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I love my job. At least it gives me lesser hours in a day to think about not wanting to live. I would tell you that in July, the gold watch you gave me was tainted with disappointments and bad decisions oozing out of my…

Tuesdays with Morrie 📚

Greatest takeaway; Detachment. Only when you let emotions penetrate you fully are you able to leave it behind. If you hold back and refuse to dive all the way into it, you’ll end up afraid- afraid of pain, afraid of grief, afraid of vulnerability. However, when you put yourself all the way through these emotions,…

8 things on my mind a lot lately| 05

Coffee – like I always say, nothing will ever take this away from the top of my list. I’m at work and I managed to free up some time since I finished my tasks a bit early today so here I am, enjoying a hot cup of Cappuccino with a Dark Chocolate bar given by…

To a stranger in a coffee shop

Pardon me if I can’t help but stare at you as I sip my Signature Hot Chocolate. It’s just that those eyes are alarmingly familiar; I can only wish for the same amount of courage they have for waking up everyday despite the visible cracks etched on your skin. You’re alone; no laptop, no book,…

9 Questions I ask myself in coffee shops

1. Does anyone know I carry pain around because I feel like if I held onto it and dealt with it alone, it would get better? 2. Is the duct tape, paste and sheer will visible? -the ones holding the rickety scaffolding of emotions, responsibilities and whatever is left of me together? 3. Do I order…